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jeffreysparkman

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jeffreysparkman

Hello I am 46 yr's old!Ihurt my back 1'st in 91,then in 2000.this time I had to have surgery,it failed!Now i'm in a hoveround 75%of the time.the rest of the time i'm in bed.I have a mono-walker for inside the house & for DR.s appt.'s Ican't get medicaid & i'm too young for S.S. or so they tell me.I've been married for 14 yr.s And for 7 years i have had to watch my wife care for me.Give me bath's ,dress me,&do for me 100%.I left because she almost lost everything taking care of me!!!$$ for dr.s,med.s,attorney's[ha,ha]cl othing ,food...she work's over 60 hr.s per week.No rest,no enjoyment,no life!Have tried to get pregnant for 6 years, between pain and so many narcotic pain med,s,its impossible.and imiss1/2 my dr.s appt.s can't afford dr.s or med.s she would,nt let me leave,said for better or worse!!!Ican't do anything to help, can you understand how i feel.Back pain,sciattica,umbilical hernia,anxiety attack's,severe depression,left knee going,left shoulder pop's out.Can only walk or standorsit 15min,s at a time!i'd sooner die.I'm46...she's 32 what kind of life does she have...that of a slave,working all week then coming home to care foran invalid.my best friend even quit his job for us[gets room & board]to take care of me during the day while she work,s! because i cant !!!anyone have a job i can do,ifeel like a useless junkie...I'm on dilaudid,methadone,xanax,lotre l,trazadone,soma,lexapro,resto ril,gemfibrozil,Ihave c.o.p.d.,degen.disc disease,spine curvature,lateral epicondolitis,.bi-polar, carpal tunnel and I'm on the very edge of just giving it up.Idon't have enough med.s Ihave a totally emotional breakdown every single day. When she get's home i just pretend like I saw a sad movie!Ican't hurt her anymore I didn't expect to get hurt ,ipromised her soooo much more! no-good jeff.

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